So as a mental stress release from all the medical issues we face with my son. J offered up the idea of finally starting my photography business I have been trying to do for almost 2 years now. I am so excited to announce that on April 1st I open Brandy Burke Photography! I love that I can work when I want and as much as I want to. It's a great escape from all the stress. I have always been the kind of person that needs a creative outlet when things get stressful. And I can tell you by the massive amounts of hair my husband and I are finding all over the bathroom that I am stressed! So here's to an exciting week!
Brandy Burke Photography
Monday, March 28, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Nov 4th The rest of the story!
So I had finally started pushing. The doctor left me with my husband and the nurse. All I could feel was pressure. Pushing at the beginning felt great. I was more at ease pushing than relaxing. I was VERY slowly making progress. At 9 the nurse and my husband joked that we could have a baby by 9:30. YES!! Is all I thought. The longer I pushed the more frustrated I got I felt like nothing was happening. Gradually I started to feel alot of pressure. Like OK this pressure is getting painful. I expressed this to my nurse. J looked at my epi pump and to him it looked as if it was empty. The nurse said that it would beep before it ran out. The pressure quickly turned to PAIN. My epi failed and I could feel everything. The nurse left J and I in the room by ourselves and told us to not push. Looking back now I say WTF was she thinking? I had a good 10 very painful contractions that were off the chart and I told my husband to push the nurses button, I needed help. The next 60 seconds went as follows.
Me: Push the G D Button I am in pain
J Pushes button
Nurse at Desk: Yes?
J: She's kinda having a baby in here
Within 15 seconds my nurse, doctor and another nurse come running through the door. My doctor who I will now refer to as asshat says
Asshat: What's the matter?
J: She's kinda having a baby and I thought someone with a medical degree should be here.
Asshat looks at me and says I will be back.
My nurse stays with me and helps to push. By this time I am in horrible pain and an anesthesiologist comes in. He ups my epi but by this time my pain is to far gone to get back under control. by now it's 10:15 and I have been pushing an hour and a half. I AM EXHAUSTED! I am passing out between each contraction and I have no energy to push. The nurse calls for my doctor and we wait and wait. We waited an HOUR pushing and passing out before she comes in. I later find out she was in a C-section and tells my nurse to wait for her. She comes in and tells me I have 3 contractions to get him out or c-section. At this point I am so tired and hurting I don't care how he gets out .he doctor gets the vacuum ready to help him out. He is stuck under my pelvic bone .he next contraction comes and I PUSH. I have a second wind for some reason and I push like no one has ever pushed. THE VACUUM ISN'T WORKING. I scream at the nurse and doctor as they are figuring out that the damn thing isn''t plugged in correctly. I very loudly scream, "Are you fucking kidding me?" 2 pushes later they get it together and he pops out. They lay him on my chest and he is screaming. I help wipe him off and they whisk him away. My husband walks over and takes pictures and I just lay there with no energy left. A few minutes later they bring him back over for me to hold him and explain that they have to take him to the NICU for help. He is needing help to breathe. J goes with him and I quickly wake up! My asshat doctor and my wonderful nurse are about to do many not nice things to my lady bits. Now something they don't tell you is they have to "massage" your uterus after birth to get it to stop bleeding and for it to return to it's normal size. The word "massage" is bullshit. It hurts and it is almost as bad as an epi free delivery. What I found out later because at this time I was so tired and in so much pain and my baby was taken from me I couldn't concentrate for anything was that I wasn't doing well right after and I had to have a D & C, and repair work. Now normally if you have this they will give you major drugs for the pain because technically it is surgery. I HAD NONE! 0! I felt every scrap, stitch, pull and poke. And to make matters worse the asshat doctor messed up my repair work and had to pull all my stitches ans start AGAIN. It took and hour for me to be finished and after that hour I HAD TO GET OUT OF BED! I had to go to the bathroom and get cleaned up and try to urinate. Of curse I hurt so bad it didn't happen. Now we are 2 hours post delivery and I am in bed eating because I am so hungry. Once I m done I am able to visit Isaac in the NICU. J and the nurse roll me to my baby. I don't know it now but this is the only time I will get to hold him for 3 days. I hold my precious baby for 5 minutes and then I tearfully apologize because I am to weak and tired to hold him and am terrified of dropping him that I make J take him from me. I go back to m room and pass out for 4 hours before the real torture of find out what was wrong with my son.
Me: Push the G D Button I am in pain
J Pushes button
Nurse at Desk: Yes?
J: She's kinda having a baby in here
Within 15 seconds my nurse, doctor and another nurse come running through the door. My doctor who I will now refer to as asshat says
Asshat: What's the matter?
J: She's kinda having a baby and I thought someone with a medical degree should be here.
Asshat looks at me and says I will be back.
My nurse stays with me and helps to push. By this time I am in horrible pain and an anesthesiologist comes in. He ups my epi but by this time my pain is to far gone to get back under control. by now it's 10:15 and I have been pushing an hour and a half. I AM EXHAUSTED! I am passing out between each contraction and I have no energy to push. The nurse calls for my doctor and we wait and wait. We waited an HOUR pushing and passing out before she comes in. I later find out she was in a C-section and tells my nurse to wait for her. She comes in and tells me I have 3 contractions to get him out or c-section. At this point I am so tired and hurting I don't care how he gets out .he doctor gets the vacuum ready to help him out. He is stuck under my pelvic bone .he next contraction comes and I PUSH. I have a second wind for some reason and I push like no one has ever pushed. THE VACUUM ISN'T WORKING. I scream at the nurse and doctor as they are figuring out that the damn thing isn''t plugged in correctly. I very loudly scream, "Are you fucking kidding me?" 2 pushes later they get it together and he pops out. They lay him on my chest and he is screaming. I help wipe him off and they whisk him away. My husband walks over and takes pictures and I just lay there with no energy left. A few minutes later they bring him back over for me to hold him and explain that they have to take him to the NICU for help. He is needing help to breathe. J goes with him and I quickly wake up! My asshat doctor and my wonderful nurse are about to do many not nice things to my lady bits. Now something they don't tell you is they have to "massage" your uterus after birth to get it to stop bleeding and for it to return to it's normal size. The word "massage" is bullshit. It hurts and it is almost as bad as an epi free delivery. What I found out later because at this time I was so tired and in so much pain and my baby was taken from me I couldn't concentrate for anything was that I wasn't doing well right after and I had to have a D & C, and repair work. Now normally if you have this they will give you major drugs for the pain because technically it is surgery. I HAD NONE! 0! I felt every scrap, stitch, pull and poke. And to make matters worse the asshat doctor messed up my repair work and had to pull all my stitches ans start AGAIN. It took and hour for me to be finished and after that hour I HAD TO GET OUT OF BED! I had to go to the bathroom and get cleaned up and try to urinate. Of curse I hurt so bad it didn't happen. Now we are 2 hours post delivery and I am in bed eating because I am so hungry. Once I m done I am able to visit Isaac in the NICU. J and the nurse roll me to my baby. I don't know it now but this is the only time I will get to hold him for 3 days. I hold my precious baby for 5 minutes and then I tearfully apologize because I am to weak and tired to hold him and am terrified of dropping him that I make J take him from me. I go back to m room and pass out for 4 hours before the real torture of find out what was wrong with my son.
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