Birth Story Nov 3 Part 1

I wanted to write this a lot sooner but as you will read it wasn't an easy labor or delivery and recovery wasn't easy at all.

Wednesday Nov 3
So that afternoon around 2:30 at work I went to the bathroom because I pretty much lived there the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy. Now I thought I had lost my mucus plug earlier in the day but that was apparently only bits and pieces. This was no doubt my mucus plug. I knew this really didn't mean anything. Some women will loose theirs days before they actually go into labor, but I finally felt like something was happening! That afternoon at work I took care of a lot of last minute things I need to do before I left for maternity leave. I guess subconsciously I knew something was going to happen soon. I left for the day laughing telling the other girl I work with that I hoped I wouldn't see her tomorrow. I came home and J cooked dinner and we ate. It was this little stir fry thing that wasn't very big but my stomach wasn't tat big anymore so I was eating small meals but just always eating. After I ate I went take a shower and then J and I crawled on the couch to watch our Wednesday night shows. I was so tired I don't think I moved from 7 to 8:30. At 9 I told J I was going up to bed and he said he would be up by 9:30. I went up and brushed my teeth and was walking towards the bed to crawl in when I felt this wetness on my leg. Now I won't lie I had lost so much control over my body in the last week of my pregnancy my first thought was, "crap I just peed on myself." Then quickly I realized it may have been my water. Now my Dr tells me at my last appointment 5 days earlier that only 5% of woman's water breaks before contractions start. SO I go on believing this is not my water. I am an idiot and I just peed myself. But I also know once your water breaks the clock is ticking and there is only a certain amount of time you have to get baby out before there are serious health risk to you and baby ( which we learn first hand later.) So I call the office so they can page the Dr on call and tell them what's going on. So I am playing on the computer while I wait for the call. Those 5 minutes seemed like 30. And of course my phone didn't ring it just went to my voicemail. So I really never got to talk to the Dr. She left me a message saying come in and lets get you checked out. So I walk downstairs and look at my husband. The conversation goes as follows,
Me: Hey Babe
J: Yeah (as he keeps his eyes on the Batman cartoon he's watching, I promise he is 29 not 16)
Me: Um.... Yeah... so I think my water broke and I called the Dr and they said to come in and get checked out.
J: Alright lets get moving ( Then random mumbling to himself which I have no idea what it was but knowing my husband the ENGINEER he was going down a checklist he had made in his head for this exact moment the second he found out I was pregnant and had been adding to said list for the past 9 months)
He proceeds to put the dogs out and fly up the stairs to our bedroom and change his clothes and finish packing faster than I have ever seen him move. In the process of this what e will call his "flash dance" he ask me to pack this and grab that. When I am not moving fast enough for him he says oh I will get it you just get dressed and get to the car. The whole time he is doing his "dance"  I keep telling him I really don't think this is it. They are just going to send me home. I was in such a disbelief of what was happening. I was expecting that we would be leaving when I was have really bad contractions and I had labored at home for hours. (Looking back now I think my body was trying to start contracting the past 2 nights but as soon as I would fall asleep they would stop. More on this later)
So after I am dress and down stairs I call my parents and let them know we are leaving. J gets everything in the car and away we go. The entire trip I am trying to convince J they are going to send us home and this is a wasted trip. He spends the 30 minute drive telling me you are in labor crazy lady. The one thing I will always remember from that ride is both of us realizing the next time we walked in our house we would be a family of 3.
We got to the hospital and went up to L&D. They put us in a room and said they wanted to test my urine and wanted me to lay down for 30 minutes then they would check to see if my water had broke. My urine came back with some protein in it. The doctor came in 30 minutes later and as soon as she lowered my bed to see if my water broke the rest of my water came gushing and I mean gush out. She said you are officially admitted. You are not going home your staying. Then she did a quick ultrasound to make sure he was head down. They put me on the monitors to see if I was contracting and apparently I was  a little. She asked me to walk for 2 hours and see I could really start contracting on my own. At this point I begged for food because I knew as soon as I got the epidural or starting really contracting it was all of limits. She must have saw the desperation in my eyes because she let me eat! As soon as I finished it was midnight and my doctor predicted we would see a baby by 5 the next afternoon. But oh how was she wrong. If we only knew what was in store for the next 24 hours.

I promise I am alive!

I just have a 7 week old who requires a lot of attention. I am hoping to write his birth story during his nap tomorrow but until then.....

Dear Little Man,

I know I have made it so nice and cozy where you are. I know if you are anything like me change is not something you are excited about. However your dad and I are so over the moon ready to meet you. Not to mention all of your family and our friends. I will admit as much as I want to hold you I will miss having you in my belly. You have been mine and only mine for the past 40 weeks. I’ve felt every move hick up and good kick in the ass you dealt out. I won’t lie towards the end it wasn’t the best feeling but I won’t trade it for anything. Even without ever laying eyes on you yet I know you are the cutest thing ever. You have to be you have nothing but your dad and I’s good looks. And I do have to say we are a rather good looking duo so you have won the gene pool kid and you don’t even know it. I hope you have his skin tone and rugged adorable looks and my hair. Also I really hope you have his eyes and smarts. You are more loved already than you will ever know. Your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins are already spoiling you rotten. You have more clothes and toys than you will ever wear or play with.

Now I do have to apologize already to you and tell you I am sorry. I figure you won’t read this until you are older and married yourself so I can let you in on my secret. When I grew up I always thought my parents knew this parenting thing and that they were perfect and that’s just it. Let me let you in on a little secret. Your father and I don’t know a thing. We are learning as we go. I’ll give you a minute to digest that. I will tell you this. We are great fakers. This whole time you have been growing inside me we have faked this pregnancy thing rather well. Most would have said we looked like pros. I tell you another secret. We were both scared shitless the whole time. Scared we or I should say I was scared I would do or eat the wrong thing, or not call the doctor when we were supposed to. Even though you are just days or hours (better be sooner than later) away we feel we did a bang up job getting you this far. Now this is not to say we are not going to make some mistakes along the way. I’m pretty sure there are going to be things and times and words we are going to wish we could take back, but I promise you this. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE NUMBER 1 AND WILL BE LOVED LIKE NO OTHER LITTLE BOY HAS BEEN LOVED.

So if you are going to be anything like me I hope this pep talk helped in making you feel better about coming out. I know I always was ready to tackle the world after my mom gave me one of her talks. So come on out! If your anything like your father, lord help us all you are now just being stubborn and fighting authority. If that’s the case I for see lots of struggles between us and if that IS the case you might as learn now, dad and I will always get our way, the right way one way or another. But you will probably take oh about 20 years to learn this.

                                                                                                                                                Love,                                                                                                                                              Mom

I need a clear cut sign!

Because these maybe it is the beginning maybe not shit is really pissing me off! I need a clear cut, I am in labor sign. Because this is going to drive me nuts. Note to self stop googling. It will only drive you mad!

Checklist Complete

Walking all weekend.....................Check
Eating really spicy food.................Check
Massage to hit pressure points......Check
Drive into the mountains................Check
Getting my labor and delivery on...NEGATIVE

Crap time for this to get moving!

39 Weeks

How Far along: 39 Weeks

Total weight gain: 43 lbs total.

Maternity clothes: Whatever fits is what gets worn

Sleep: Between Braxton Hick and him moving this doesn't happen

Best Moment this week: ANy moment I can breathe and sleep at the same time!!!!

Movement: Slowing way down

Gender: Boy! All Boy! 

Labor signs: Last week I was 50% effaced. We'll see tomorrow

Belly button: It's so out. I can't hide it anymore.

Cravings: Biscuits

What I miss: Everything. Don't get me wrong I am so happy I was blessed with my baby but I miss everything that I used to do for myself. 

Stretch Marks: Yes

What I am looking forward to this week:Meeting the little man. J says he will be here on Halloween. I'm going with this because I have to look forward to something or I might just cry. I am miserable.

38 Weeks

How Far along: 38 Weeks

Total weight gain: 42 lbs total.

Maternity clothes: I have  a total of 3 outfits as of this morning

Sleep: What sleep. I am unaware of what this is.

Best Moment this week: ANy moment I can breathe and sleep at the same time

Movement: He's slowing down. He is defiantly running out of room

Gender: Boy! All Boy! 

Labor signs: I had a few of what I am pretty sure were Braxton Hicks the other night

Belly button: It's so out. I can't hide it anymore.

Cravings: Sweets. 

What I miss: Not hurting. Not having to do a marathon to get up and walk across the room. There is nothing I do right now that feels normal.

Stretch Marks: Yes

What I am looking forward to this week:Being that much closer!

I am truly hoping this is the last entry I have, because I won't lie I am miserable!

Dreams

So I had 2 dreams last night. I went to the Dream DIctionary to see what they meant. Here's what I got.

Breath ( I was trying to grab my breath before someone pulled me under water)

To dream that you are trying to catch your breath or that you are out of breath, indicates that you are experiencing some anxiety, tension, or fear concerning a new situation in your waking life.

Labor ( I was in labor and my husband was ignoring me)

To dream that you are laboring, suggests that your goals will take a lot of hard work to accomplish.

If you are a woman and dream that you are in labor, indicates your desire to be pregnant and to start a family. To experience or feel labor pains or Braxton Hicks contractions in your dream, indicate the anticipation of hard work ahead. If you are actually pregnant, then the dream serves as a rehearsal for the actual birth. The dream is trying to prepare you for labor and proper breathing.

It's time

I have lost all patients with being pregnant and it's time. COme out little man COME OUT!

37 WEEKS!

How Far along: 37 Weeks

Total weight gain: 38 lbs total.

Maternity clothes: Even these don't fit

Sleep: What sleep. I am unaware of what this is.

Best Moment this week: Today! I am considered FULL TERM!

Movement: He's in a constant state of motion. Yes start to feel sorry for me!

Gender: Boy! All Boy! There is absolutely no doubt after my ultrasound last Friday.

Labor signs: Bring it on. Anytime is fine!

Belly button: It's so out. I can't hide it anymore.

Cravings: Sweets. 

What I miss: Not hurting. Not having to do a marathon to get up and walk across the room.

Stretch Marks: Yes

What I am looking forward to this week:Being that much closer!

I can officially start walking again. I plan on being as active as possible. I am determined for him to get here before his due date!

PSA

I am done!
As of Thursday when this kid hits full term he is more than welcome to come out at any time. In fact I will be walking and doing many things to talk him out of there. Time for him to get his butt out because he is starting to make mine seriously uncomfortable!

36 Weeks

How Far along: 36 Weeks


Total weight gain: 38 lbs total.

Maternity clothes: You know it

Sleep: What sleep

Best Moment this week: Today! J comes and stays home until the little man gets here!

Movement: His movements aren't nice and cute anymore. They straight up hurt!

Gender: Boy! All Boy! We get to see him again tomorrow!

Labor signs: Better not see any of this for at least 4 weeks. I would even say 3 weeks would be fine!

Belly button: It's so out. I can't hide it anymore.

Cravings: Sweets. I so want cinnamon rolls

What I miss: Doing things for myself and seeing my feet. J had to tell me the other day that my dress was dirty. I couldn't see it :-(

Stretch Marks: They appeared there ugly head last weekend. Uhh

What I am looking forward to this week:Being one week closer

35 Weeks

How Far along: 35 WeeksTotal weight gain: 32 lbs total.

Maternity clothes: You know it

Sleep: It just sucks. I can't wait to sleep through the night again. In like 18 years

Best Moment this week: Everyday closer to the end is a good day.

Movement: He is an ACTIVE little boy. That's for sure!

Gender: Boy! All Boy!

Labor signs: Better not see any of this for at least 5 weeks. Ohh that's keeps getting smaller and smaller!

Belly button: It's so out. I can't hide it anymore.

Cravings: Sweets. I so want cinnamon rolls

What I miss: Doing things for myself and seeing my feet. J had to tell me the other day that my dress was dirty. I couldn't see it :-(

Stretch Marks: Nope fingers crossed

What I am looking forward to this week:Being one week closer

So I did get the new SUV last weekend. I love love love it! All I have to do is wash bottles and we are done!

34 Weeks

How Far along: 34 Weeks
Total weight gain: 32 lbs total.

Maternity clothes: Oh Yeah! I am even starting to grow out of them

Sleep: I turn over ever hour at least. However knock on wood I think he has established night and day. If I am up right now it's because of discomfort not him moving.

Best Moment this week: Getting his room almost done and all his clothes washed. I am so close to done I can smell it

Movement: He is an ACTIVE little boy. That's for sure!

Gender: Boy! All Boy!

Labor signs: Better not see any of this for at least 6 weeks. Ohh that's keeps getting smaller and smaller!
Belly button: It's so out. I can't hide it anymore.
Cravings: Still sweets! Also chicken salad

What I miss: DOing things for myself

Stretch Marks: Nope fingers crossedWhat I am looking forward to this week:My new ride! I get my new SUV tomorrow and finishing the registry buying and finishing his room. I can't wait until Oct 1 everything will be done and I can spend the next couple of weeks just relaxing and walking.

Control

Control on the on-line dictionary is defined as follows

con·trol

   [kuhn-trohl] Show IPAverb, -trolled, -trol·ling, noun

–verb (used with object)

1.

to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command.

2.

to hold in check; curb: to control a horse; to control one'semotions.

3.

to test or verify (a scientific experiment) by a parallelexperiment or other standard of comparison.

4.

to eliminate or prevent the flourishing or spread of: to controla forest fire.

5.

Obsolete . to check or regulate (transactions), originally bymeans of a duplicate register.

I have learned what my biggest issue is with this whole child birth experience. I will have no control. Anyone who knows me knows I am a planner. I plan everything. I specifically get in the lane I need to be in when I get on the interstate so nothing unexpected happens and I can get off when I need to. I always have a plan of attack for the weekends and how we are going to get things done. It took me a year to plan our wedding. My theory is when there is a plan everything will go perfect. I gain this plan by taking control.

Guess what with this I have no control. Not even an ounce. I don't know the day, time, how, anything. This drives me nuts. I know what you are thinking. You are having a baby you will never have full control again. I say to you, you are 100% correct. However I can always have an idea of what to do or what's going on.

I've come to this realization after last night. We had our hospital tour. Now let me give you some history. My mom is a nurse my dad has worked in a hospital as long as I can remember and I myself worked in surgery for 4 years in college. I'm talking up close and personal in surgery. Nothing ever phased me, never got grossed out, never was faint nothing. I actually enjoyed working with patients and family very much. he experience though taught me I was never meant to be a nurse. Those ladies and gentlemen put up with way more shit than I ever could. But I did enjoy the time. I saw all the machines, surgeries, and even things normal nurses would never see. THIS NEVER PHASED ME, EVER!

Let's back to last night again. We saw the labor and delivery room, postpartum room, nursery and the NICU (god let us not ever have to walk in the room.) I did fine in ever room but the labor and delivery room. It made what is about to happen SO REAL. I think the down side for me is I know what everything in there is used for. I've never had machines and hospital equipment scare me. I thank god other people were there because my need not to embarass myself was the only thing from keeping me from crying like a baby. I keep telling myself it's just the hormones but I know better deep down. As J and I walked out I told him I have had way to much reality for the week. Between the epidural talk on Tuesday and then seeing actually where the little man will come into the world was way to much for me this week. You always have this mental image of how things will go and look and then you walk into it and it just takes your breath away.

Now I know a year from now I will sit down and write how big of a pansy I was and how much of a gobber I was freaking out. I know this because I know me. But I do have to say for now I am really scared, because I have to do this on my own. I can't tag out and let J take over when it gets to be to much.

So little man will be here anywhere between 27 and 62 days!