The 8 worst apologies ever

I found this on cnn.com.

If you have ever been done wrong in some kind of way (which is everyone) you have been bound to hear one of these. Yours truly has tried to pull a few off! Yes I know you are in shock that I could ever make anyone upset. The only one that probably wouldn't be in shock is my husband. I have been known to push his buttons on occasion. However with him there are better ways than words to say I'm sorry. And he knows it and uses it to his full advantage. Enjoy!

By Judy McGuire

The 8 worst apologies ever

1. The blame shifter

Witness the number one worst way to say sorry of all time: "I'm sorry you feel that way." Interesting game plan -- blaming the person you're ostensibly making amends to for getting rightfully pissed off at your horrendous behavior. If you're not sorry for your actions, don't apologize. If you are genuinely repentant, take off the training bra, squeeze 'em into the underwire, and take responsibility like a woman.

2. Lady liquor made me do it

So you had a little too much to drink at a friend's birthday party and ended up making out in the bathroom with the bartender. When your boyfriend finds out, it's probably best to just own up to the mistake rather than say, "But I was drunk!" Those five shots of tequila only gave you the courage to do something stupid and regretful, it didn't actually do it for you.

3. It's all in the genes

What I wouldn't pay to be a fly on the wall the first time some cheater tries to use the new study showing that some men have a genetic predisposition towards non-monogamy. Sorry ladies, so far there's no equivalent study for us female types, so don't even think about it.

4. Forcing forgiveness

"You have to forgive me -- you must!" Demanding absolution is possibly more annoying than your original sin. This is a lose/lose.

5. The big but

An acquaintance's wife apologized for sleeping with a coworker with the caveat, "But he came onto me!" So obviously she had no choice but to cozy up. Oh, please. Inserting the word "but" into any apology immediately negates it.

6. The sympathy bid

A boyfriend once "apologized" for standing me up by ruefully rambling on about how his tragic childhood left him ill-equipped to deal with obligations. What this had to do with blowing off dinner still eludes me. You're supposed to be making a plea for forgiveness, not hosting a pity party for one.

7. e-Sorry

There are very few occasions that warrant an e-card. Screwing up and subsequently begging forgiveness via an animated teddy bear and a terrible jingle is definitely not one of them.

8. Skirting the issue

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings," is not the same as "I'm sorry I cheated on you with your best friend, in your bed, while you were at your uncle's funeral." Though either way you phrase it, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for forgiveness on that one.