Just a bad day!

So every now and again I just hit a wall. Today, is one of those days. Someone can just say something or do something or I can just read something, and I feel like I have just got run over by a train. I heard it described the best way the other day. I think also if people understood this saying, they might understand a little better. It was, "when you miscarry it is an event for everyone outside of the pregnancy. For the couple it is something they deal with and live with the rest of their life. As time goes on it gets easier but it will always be something you are dealing with." Wow I could not have said it better myself. 

So I started my 2nd cycle of Clomid today. It's so hard to stay positive the more time it takes. As it is it took us 1 year to get pregnant the first time. When I saw that positive I stupidly exhaled. I know better now. The next time, God willing, there will be no exhaling. 

So one  more grip I have. Everyone is pregnant around me, and if I hear one more time, "it only took a few tries," I swear (yes I said swear) I might just completely lose it. I know they are excited, but that, that statement crushes my spirit! I always come back to the question, what did I do wrong. I was always told to do things correct and it the right order and everything would be OK. I did that, I did it all and excelled and in the right order, so why am I being punished for succeeding? And why or others being rewarded for their stupidity? Sorry it's just a bad day, and my husbands not here to talk me down off this edge that he does on a normal basis.