WARNING: WOMAN WITH HORMONES!

So I know every woman is different, and every pregnancy is different. With this said there are things that have happened to my body in the past year that I just would have never thought of. I have managed to get cyst in places I never knew were possible, I have thrown more OTC medications down my throat in hopes of getting my chemistry back to normal, and I have hormones like no one’s business! This last one is the one that has really thrown me for a loop. Growing up and even before I had my miscarriage I was a rock. I never cried at sappy movies or commercials. I could yell and scream at my husband when he deserved it and never had tears in the way. Now, I don’t know who this person is that has taken over my body. This person can break at a moment’s notice. I found myself crying at a stupid movie last night. It wasn’t even said. I thought the dog was just so sweet. What the hell! Some days I feel as if it was all a big tease. Oh here you go, and nope I’m sorry you can’t have exactly what you want. I have spent the past year questioning my faith. I keep telling myself no one or no such thing with the ability to control situations would ever but someone though the hell that we have found ourselves in this past year. I think it hurts even more now because we are going down this road again. Why are we trying this again? To be honest, I have no idea. I do know I wouldn’t have made it the first time if it weren’t for my husband! He is the rock that holds things together.

But back to my crazy hormones and such. I never knew it was possible to have such crazy hormones and not be pregnant. Believe me in the 2 weeks I knew I was pregnant I knew they were there and they were bad. I didn’t think they would carry over to non pregnant me. Oh help my husband if we do get pregnant again. I fear for him with crazy me. I have also noticed they are getting so much worse lately. I contribute this to the fertility drugs I am on now. Yup I am finally going public. I was put on clomid about a month ago. It scares me so much. I have heard so many horror stories about it. I just hope it works! At this point we are fine with twins, which is a very strong possibility if this works. There’s even a possibility of triplets. But we won’t talk about that…..